I am in complete disbelief. This is me the whole day, Sitting here is disbelief. I stumbled upon an old email about my blog, I actually don't even remember what that email was about , even though it was just a few hours ago, I think that's why I am in disbelief about this blog page of mine.

I just don't know how in the life of me I managed to setup a blog page in 2011, but then when I look at the uploaded images it looks like I was doing alright, you know. Not the mess I have always seen my self as. Not the sad person who always greets back in the mirror. I briefly remember this girl. 

She was in a new town, had just gotten a job, was a student. And then she met that boy and almost lost her life. 

I am sorry. I am sorry for not pushing hard enough  to heal. I am sorry for introducing you to multiple was of escape. I am sorry for not teaching you to speak up for your self. I am sorry for not making you happy. I am sorry I still have not made you happy. 

Please seriously consider shadow work.